Clumsy Solutions

For many years now, I’ve noticed something that I think is pretty interesting.

We all have similar problems.  Problems of love, death, loss, fears, mistakes, power, our bodies, work, school, relationships, resources, abuse, abandonment, depression, addiction, self worth and the like.  In one way or another, most of these touch all of our lives.  Our responses to them too, seem common between us- we all have “bad” feelings and “good” feelings associated with these experiences.

It appears to me, that we also have solutions in common.  But what’s strange about it, are the solutions themselves.  If we just look at the “problems” (for shorthand purposes) we have in our lives, and our response or “reaction” to them (or as I’m calling them here, “solutions”, though we may not see them as such in the moment), the way we deal with them from this perspective is tragically ineffective.

Here’s what I mean, more specifically.  The way I see us (and of course, have done myself in many cases), is that we respond to perceived problems with (in no particular order):

  1. Avoidance, procrastination.
  2. Using our limited human intellect, and our limited human will, coupled together as a salve we cover everything with.
  3. Drugs, alcohol, food, spending, money, property, prestige, gambling, etc. ad nauseum.
  4. “Codependent” behaviors (oversimplifying: doing things for others that they can and should do for themselves, so that we don’t have to feel bad for one reason or another).
  5. Lying (or, in addict nomenclature, “manipulating”… insert tongue-in-cheek emoticon here), often, when telling the truth would be easier.
  6. Perfectionism.
  7. Control.
  8. Enduring untenable circumstances or relationships.
  9. Isolation.
  10. Ruminating.
  11. Reasoning with “unreasonable” people, or in circumstances that may not always be subject to such (there’s a large philosophical question here that can’t be addressed in a blog, hope the spirit of the thing comes through…).
  12. Self obsession.
  13. Being critical.
  14. Thoughts or attempts of suicide or related self harm.
  15. Worrying (the behavior… not to be confused with being afraid- as John Bradshaw once opined, “Worrying is like beating the drums to keep the evil spirits away.”).
  16. Pride or ego.
  17. Lashing out verbally or physically.
  18. Intellectualizing…

Et cetera.  This is clearly a truncated list, but am hoping most of us can see our most frequent responses here.  What I’m hoping to get across (at the risk of reiteration) is that these are our responses to perceived problems, and arguably, when observed, appear to be solutions that we employ to a whole host of life’s difficulties.

More striking to me is what’s absent from the list:

  1. Emotional availability, disclosure, and the like.
  2. Asking for help (having a “responsibility partner”, other similar ideas).
  3. Responsibility.
  4. Having “boundaries”.
  5. Kindness.
  6. Critical thinking skills.
  7. Service focus on others.
  8. Writing (and preferably, sharing that writing with one or more people).
  9. Art (painting, sculpture, music, performances, poetry, etc).
  10. Honesty.
  11. Support groups, 12-step meetings, or other types of community.
  12. Amends.
  13. Mindfulness.
  14. Meditation.
  15. Diet, exercise, natural healthy sleep.
  16. Being self supporting through one’s own contributions mentally, emotionally, physically and “spiritually” (for lack of a better term).
  17. Acceptance.
  18. Therapy, counseling, coaching.
  19. Community, relationships.
  20. Intimacy.
  21. “Non intervention”, being still.
  22. Forgiveness, “letting go”, and other similar solutions.
  23. Gratitude…

Seems I’m laboring the point here (hopefully in a continued effort to be helpful).  Have long looked at my own old behavior (though it still shows up sometimes!), and of course the behavior of others, and as I see “problems” come up, inevitably, I see the first set of responses above.  Often, repeatedly and perpetually for the same problem and/or new ones.  Have also observed that these responses almost inevitably make things worse, or create new problems.

While the second set of ideas don’t always “solve” things (sometimes, when honest, simply in the shadow of our own limited perspective), when practiced, my experience is that we all start to feel better about things, and certainly act better.  Very rarely, do I see the second set of  ideas create or perpetuate more problems.  Making a practice of replacing our first responses in the first section with the ideas in the second section, has been life changing for me, and lots of my clients.  If the theme rings any bells for anyone, would love to hear/see other ideas.

What the Heck is “Euthymia”, and Why Should I Care?

Before getting into details, let’s make note of this: I’m altering the definition of the term as a way of creating a framework that allows us to look at something we don’t hear enough about in psychology and counseling- what is healthy!  We’re great at discussing “issues”, what’s “wrong”, what’s “unhealthy”, “mental illness” and etc, but we’re not so great at talking about the opposite!  Something to work toward, identification of what’s mentally, emotionally, and “spiritually” healthy, is a great way to change our feelings and our lives.

Oversimplifying, “euthymia” is a medical term, a term most often used in psychology, psychiatry, or philosophy to describe happiness or wellness.  Wikipedia separates out euthymia in terms of medicine, and philosophy.  In both, it is used to describe a “non depressed” mood, or “world perception” or “view” (Weltanschauung) as noted by the famous Greek philosopher Democritus.  Wordnik, a preferred website of librarians and info scientists for definitions of terms, defines euthymia as: “n. Philosophical cheerfulness and calm; the avoidance of disturbing passions, as inculcated by Democritus and Epicurus.”

As anyone who knows or has worked with me can imagine, I prefer the more global definition, the one hinted at in philosophy.  As promised, I’d offer that euthymia as a term might be most useful if looked at this way: an emotional response that is reasonable, adaptive, and of “right size” intensity, in response to one’s current circumstances.  In short, a healthy emotional response to one’s current circumstances.  Or (again, oversimplifying), a way of knowing that one has a healthy emotional response to the world.

Let’s start by thinking about what might be some indicators of an unhealthy response to the world, commonly understood by the medical and psychological communities.  Someone experiencing a “low grade” depression for an extended period of time might be diagnosed with “dysthymia”.  These symptoms being present, in absence of “psychosocial stressors” (AKA “problems” in life…), is arguably an indicator of something south of optimum health.  Without anything “bad” happening, to be “depressed” is regarded as unhealthy by most helping professions.  In a like way, being “sad” or “depressed” in a way that prevents us from doing things in our lives (work, play, relationships…) about something that happened say, 10 years ago is arguably not a healthy response to what is happening now.  To exaggerate to make the point, in schizophrenia (literally to be “split from reality”), this is an extreme version, the opposite of “euthymia”.  More specifically, if one is seeing things (having visual hallucinations, a common symptom of schizophrenia), I sometimes like to describe this as a response that’s not euthymic.

One of my goals as a therapist is for all of my clients… people who are depressed, anxious, have low self esteem, addicts, codependents, whoever- to have a reasonable, here and now response to their given circumstance.  If we behave for instance, based on old hurts to a current circumstance we tend to at best not be able to resolve either issue, at worst, make one or more of those issues more difficult.  Another way of saying this is that, if I experience a perceived sleight (someone makes fun of me, forgets a “small” responsibility to me, etc), but respond to that with isolation, threats, emotional blackmail, substance use or etc, this isn’t a “right size” response- it’s not euthymic.  Knowing that we are not having a “euthymic” response in this example, or as a way of problem solving, can help a lot in terms of dealing with our problems as right size, and might enable us to problem solve more effectively.  For someone suffering from anxiety, low self esteem, depression, addiction and more, this can be a great tool to start on the road of dealing with our current circumstance as it is.

Going back to some more painful considerations, I would suggest that in taking the example of the death or similar loss of a loved one or animal or etc, being sad is a euthymic response.  Just as our body has less than comfortable sensations in response to illness or injury- these are indicators of recovery from them.  Why don’t we see our relationship with our feelings in a similar light?  As an example of this, when we fall off a bike and skin our knee, most of us who know a little about science know that much of the reason it hurts is because of the inflammatory process- this is due to the healing and protective agents of our bodies (white blood cells to fight off infection, proteins to rebuild the part, fluids for transport of these materials and etc…) being sent to heal the injured part.  It hurts both as an indicator for us to know not to do that again, but as much, because it is healing.  Endlessly interesting to me, humans don’t see their non physical feelings, their emotions, in the same light.  We regard them as something terrible, something to be avoided.  It seems to me that we have them because they give us other information about our environment that we might not otherwise discern from our other senses, and a way of healing other aspects of our lives- hurts, shames, losses and etc.  It’s not to say that our feelings are all necessarily facts, but indicators of possible realities (more on this idea from my blog here).

If the above paragraph is any indicator, in many circumstances, having “bad” feelings might be the process of dealing with non physical difficulties.  Extreme (in terms of intensity) or maladaptive (not useful) responses to these create in turn more problems, and in some cases, diagnosable difficulties.  Having the idea of euthymia as a guidepost, it might give us a more tangible way of gauging our problem solving, behavior, and more.

Clinical Supervision: A New Intern!

One of the better ways I think I can be of use to the community is by training other therapists and interns.  Have now hired and am doing clinical supervision with a new Marriage and Family Therapist Intern, Sarah Wood, MS, MFTI (#66300).

Am really happy about getting to do this.  With the Partners in Recovery program for interns sunsetting at the end of the last school semester, there’s been less opportunity to get to work with folk that way.  Am double excited about getting to do so with Sarah, because she’s already great at what she does, and really has a taste for The Work.

She comes on the recommendation of one of our last interns, Melissa Lamoureux, who was also at Partners in Recovery.  Sarah did her graduate work at the amazing program at Cal State Fullerton.  She’s done a lot of great work in the community already, specializing in therapy with children, trauma services for all ages, eating disorders/other addictions and more.

I feel like it’s a stroke of luck to get to work with her, am happy to get to recommend her services.  Please go by her website and learn more about Sarah at sarahwoodtherapy.com.  Welcome Sarah!

7400 Hours, Psychology, Clinical Supervision

About three years ago, my friend and colleague Judy McGehee LMFT (Partners in Recovery) began a supervision program for Marriage and Family Therapist interns (people that have completed their coursework for Masters degrees) and trainees (those who are about to complete Masters degree coursework).  Borne solely out of a desire to be helpful, and pass on the ability to provide effective human service, for fun and for free, Judy took on supervising 8 or so trainees and interns.  We were joined also by a visiting therapist, Ted Aaseland, Psy.D.  A little over two years ago I joined her in this endeavor, as I care deeply about passing on how to do “The Work”.

Over the course of those years, those interns provided services to the Glendora School District and elsewhere to children and adolescents for free.  Some of these turned into outpatient clients, individuals and families, also for free.  There were also public speaking engagements for adults and adolescents, professionals and non-professionals.  After all was said and done, over 7400 hours of free therapy (not including the speaking/community education efforts) were provided, all for free.

Interestingly and tragically, there are several stories that run in parallel with this one.  Before I get there though, it would be instructive to tell you a little about this process, both from the perspective of the licensed folk/interns/trainees, and from the folk we hope we were helpful to.

Will start with the experience of the trainees/interns/licensed folk.  Most universities require several hundred hours of internship/clinical experience for graduation.  The processing of these hours is supervised by a licensed therapist (who can be a supervisor, as regulated by the Board of Behavioral Sciences), and the student must pay for this process.  Most universities, in an uncomfortable wrenching of common sense, either don’t have someone to organize/and or set up/maintain these supervision placements, or they’re simply not updated for various reasons.  The student/trainee however, is still required to do this.  To add insult to injury, the trainee when in supervision, if they can find an agency, is rarely given a real experience of being supervised at their work.  It seems flabbergasting to consider this, yet it’s tragically true.

Similarly, interns (therapists just out of school) have to complete over 3000 hours of work with patients/clients, just to sit for the two licensing exams.  They have six years to complete this process, requiring continuing education to reset their chance to sit for the exams.  That means that they have to see clients, and that those hours also have to be supervised.  Related to both this issue and Judy’s (Ted’s, and mine) efforts, we were completely unable to get other clinicians to volunteer for either of these processes (for trainees or interns)- not even a couple of hours a month, let alone the minimal 2-4 hours a week.  In light of the complaints of most people we know not feeling like they received quality supervision, this is no small issue.

The second body of material that is really important here is the students and families.  There were of course the predictable experiences with clients who struggled with behavioral problems, substance use/addiction, depression, stress, bullying, pregnancy, self esteem, eating disorders, anxiety and the like.  It was also really common to have active suicidality, reports of abuse, the precursors of “thought disorders” (schizophrenia, and the like), violence, abandonment, PTSD, mood disorders (bipolar disorder and related problems) and more.  There was psychoeducation, crisis intervention, abuse reporting, ensuring of safety, documentation, creation and use of materials, referrals to resources, interfacing with administrators/Department of Children and Family Services/other clinicians/teachers/families and more, interviewing, showing up for IEP/planning meetings and more, and oh yeah… individual and family therapy.

The interns (and will give a little credit to us as well) braved all of these issues and more.  All for free.  Seven thousand, four hundred hours of it, and the attendant signing off of supervision hours.

We met weekly for all this time, as individuals and as a group, to meet the requirements for the relevant university, and for the Board of Behavioral Sciences.  We met in between to take care of paperwork.  To problem-solve.  To handle questions.  We met for lunches, at each others’ homes, in restaurants, in parking lots.  We celebrated birthdays, mourned losses, processed issues, checked one anothers’ heads.  There was a lot of happiness, crying, efforts to glean resource support to continue the work, discovery.

There’s certainly more to be said, and obviously, more work to be done.  Though this cycle of supervision is over, we still have a lot of passion and ideas for what might be next.  The whole point of writing this though, is simply to honor the work of Michael Cardenas, Eryka Gayoso, Elva Cortez, Jessica Wilson, Jeffrey Craig, Melissa Lamoureux MS, Ted Aaselund Psy.D, and most of all, Judy McGehee LMFT.  Thanks so much for making all this matter, and letting me participate.

Difficulties, Diagnoses, the DSM.

In a New York Times Op-Ed piece from today, one of the leads on the DSM-IV (the “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual”, the current edition of an industry standard tool for mental health, primer here) task force wrote about the upcoming changes in the DSM-V (likely to be released in early 2013).  Summarizing, Allen was suggesting in part, “…after the changes approved this week, it will introduce many new and unproven diagnoses that will medicalize normality and result in a glut of unnecessary and harmful drug prescription.”, and that the American Psychiatric Association was  arguably no longer in a place to be singularly in charge of the meting out of diagnoses, calling it a “monopoly” (offering that an agency akin to the FDA or National Institute on Mental Health might be examples of ways to provide oversight in the efforts to insure some science around diagnosing emotional and mental problems).

Am with Allen on quite a bit of this.  What comes to me often too, is that we have equally large fish to fry with the DSM and the profession than just the pathologizing and monopolizing he suggests.  We have been over-diagnosing ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) and bipolar disorder, among others.  Our differential diagnosis (rationalizing one diagnosis vs another) has also been resulting in much harm to people by way of treating issues unneeded, and/or incorrectly.  We are also arguably guilty as a discipline of using interventions that are more “intrusive” than necessary (for instance, medicating a problem before efforts at traditional talk therapy and/or other interventions have yet to be tried).

It seems to me that in reviewing the DSM, we are more currently in need of insuring the accuracy and value of our diagnoses, in terms of insuring that those so suffering are treated more appropriately.  We do know ways to treat depression, anxiety, addictions, bipolar disorders and etc.  We do have means of helping people through grief/loss, communication problems, abuse, suffering with stress and etc.  As the saying goes though, the “cure” (a dubious word to begin with) is only as good as the diagnosis, and with the numbers of the diagnosed only increasing in the US year after year, either our diagnosing or treatment (or maybe a bit of both) are not faring as well as they might.

A quick aside here- not all of the missed treatment opportunities are about the above issues.  Some of them are due to the influence of Big Pharma (an intense imposition by the pharmaceutical industry), access and funding of mental health treatment, the insurance industry and more.

Specifically related to the DSM though, my hope is that we’d simply be better at a lot of the material we already have.  Adding diagnoses, or simply separating them into finer and finer constellations of symptoms seems both unnecessary and unhelpful, philosophically speaking.  Part of what I’m getting at above is that I think we have some good ideas about how to help many ills- I just wish we spent more time treating them, and less time diagnosing new ones.

From the “Something That Came Up Today” Department… More on “Stopping”

Truth, it comes up a lot.

We’re all trying to “give up” some stuff, trying to stop doing some things, but often have difficulty doing it.  Aside from a blog I wrote about this a while ago, we might want to think of such things as surrender instead of “quitting”, stopping, etc… but I digress.  We endeavor to stop drinking, overeating, eating poorly, isolating, perfectionism, controlling things, spending, video games, TV, and a host of other things.  Sometimes we’re trying to avoid things that are actually good for us- exercise, going to a support group, going on a job interview, self care and the like.  Most of the time we point at a lack of insight, “willpower”, or related ideas.  For dozens of years, people have been going on *wince* Dr. Phil, Oprah, Donahue (I don’t watch too much TV- who do we have now?), and others asking why people can’t stop __________.

There’s an interesting colloquialism in 12-step programs that addresses this.  Some say that “what makes people drink is sobriety”.  Whatever one feels about 12-step programs, this is a pretty elegant, and deep idea when applied to alcohol or drugs or other things we might want to give up.  Consider it this way- what if our inability to stop something (or start something) is not the difficulty in stopping or starting, presence or absence of “willpower”, but the difficulty of how we will feel if we do?

Try this thought experiment.  How would an alcoholic feel if they stopped drinking?  Someone that stopped “obsessing” over __________?  A person obsessed with control feel if they stopped controlling things?  Someone that stopped overeating?  It’s intuitive to say that these folk might be “relieved”, but I’d argue that’s a superficial look.  I think these persons (and other people with other issues) would feel pain, fear, sadness, even shame and anger.

What I’m getting at (simply) is this: if we have trouble surrendering something, it’s more likely that is difficult because of how it would feel to do so.  More difficult than the effort or organization or “insight” about what we need to give something up.  If that’s the case, it points to why much deeper “work” is more often necessary than simply will-ing our way into stopping something.

Therapy, Counseling, Mental Health: Things That Put Me OUT of Work

My last piece of course is begging for a follow up.  If there’s semi-tangible things that put me in a job, there should be some things that will put me out of a job, so to speak.  Ideas, principles, behaviors that clients do that get them and keep them out of our offices, clinics, and hospitals.  Again, we as clinicians talk about them fairly often, but I rarely hear/see them showing up in discussions outside of our colleagues.  In all fairness, as with all professions, there’s arguably some things we don’t agree on or see a little differently, but if we’re really endeavoring to be socially responsible and progressively-minded about our responsibilities, I think we ought to be transparent about some of these things.

Should mention some of the spirit of where these ideas come from.  One day at a hospital I was hired to create dual diagnosis programs at, it dawned on me that there were a lot of suggestions that most clinicians of all types, gave to clients of all diagnoses/problems, in an effort to be helpful.  I created a beginning list of these as I saw them, and asked different psychiatrists, therapists, social workers, nurses, and recreational therapists to add/change/delete parts of the list.  After compiling 60 or 80 different items or so, we began using this as a resource tool for the clients.  The list below is some of those ideas, but am leaving some of them out for brevity’s sake.

They’re not really new.  Most of these appear not just in different forms of therapy, but some religion, philosophy/worldviews and the like as well.  It should also be said that they ought to be useful for most any problem- not a panacea, but consistent across categories of problems… depression and sadness, low self esteem and shame, anger, pain, grief and loss, abuse, “thought disorders”, affective disorders (depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, addictions, etc).

As with my last blog, would suggest that these might take deeper explanation and guidance, and hence, some of that work is beyond this medium.  That said though, I think that some of these ideas are extraordinarily useful (despite their age… ;-p  ), and can be applied a lot of places.  Some of these are simply ideas that I think “getting a handle on” and using them as a start for problem-solving is really helpful.  Not an exhaustive list, but as a start…

  • Knowing who we are and how we are is one of the most important things- and arguably the basis for dealing with a lot of our problems.
  • Have a “congruent affect” (affect is “feeling” or “emotion” in this context)… let your outsides match your insides.
  • Learn how to identify feelings, and share them with supportive/healthy people in ways that are easy to understand.  Might want to try using the “six basic feelings” of mad, sad, glad, afraid, ashamed, and/or hurt.
  • Don’t treat all feelings as facts.
  • Have “boundaries”.  Know where we each “start and stop” mentally, emotionally, “spiritually”, and physically.
  • Eat healthy, exercise, regulate sleep.
  • Remove thoughts/behaviors that put distance between us and us, us and others, or are used as simple distractions.
  • Being “right” is not necessarily more important than being loved.
  • We have to “have” something to “let go” of it.  This arguably applies to how we feel.
  • Is there another choice besides acceptance?
  • Mindfulness.
  • Using critical thinking.  Skepticism, defining terms, consideration of alternate interpretations, considering how an idea might not work/go wrong, resisting oversimplification/generalizing, comparing/contrasting with other people’s ideas…
  • Have a “resource group”… people with whom we exchange ideas, get support, do critical thinking with etc that have experience and/or education with the things we struggle with.
  • Treat happiness as an inside job.
  • Avoiding self-medicating with drugs, food, alcohol, shopping, gambling, sex, TV, etc.
  • Be self-supporting through our own contributions, mentally, emotionally, “spiritually”, and physically. (this particular item is a lot deeper than it may seem at first blush)
  • Don’t just read literature related to our problems and difficulties- actually try the ideas contained.
  • Give up comparing our insides with other people’s outsides.
  • Delay gratification.
  • Know and work on our “issues”.
  • Consider and act on “love” as a verb.
  • Get out of abusive relationships, maybe even relationships that are “potential” rather than “actual”.
  • Stop trying to control other people, places, and things.
  • Be of service.

Again, this is a painfully truncated list, some of the ideas are certainly arguable, and none are a substitute for working with a professional for learning how to do them if they are going to be useful.  My experience though, is that my clients who take up these things, with a pro, have a pretty common experience of feeling and behaving better themselves.  In some ways, it’s hard to imagine doing treatment without these things.  Of course, a lot of these are hard to do, but not impossible, and easier if made practical- things we can measure and point at.  Would love to hear ideas from other folk about things that they think are fairly indispensable, and might work for a lot of folk in a lot of different circumstances…

Therapy, Counseling, Mental Health: Some Things that Keep Us in Work

As I’ve said before, I try to work in the spirit that it’s my job to put me out of a job.  There’s some things I see pretty often though, that seem to be both counter intuitive and appear to keep me and my type in work.  My experience with therapists is that we often see these things, but rarely talk about them in a semi-organized way.  As much as loss, abuse, and abandonment cause depression, sadness, shame, low self esteem, anger, pain, addiction and etc, there are things we do that perpetuate our suffering in this way.  Some of these are survival or coping skills and thus necessary, but don’t really go very far to help someone get, and stay out of places like my office.  Here’s a list of some of those things off the top of my head:

  • Absence of critical thinking.
  • Responding to struggles by simply “staying busy” or just “trying harder”.  AKA, operating as a “human doing” instead of a human be-ing.
  • The kind of thinking that “Time heals all wounds…”, “It’s water under the bridge…”, “You’re just giving __________ power over you…”, “The past is in the past…”, “Just stay positive…”…
  • Using ideas and principles that got us suffering in the first place, to resolve that suffering.  Drugs, alcohol, isolation, shopping, food, gambling, etc.
  • Simply not knowing, and/or avoiding feelings.
  • Thinking and/or behaving as if the only answer to our suffering is for someone else to change or stop their behavior- even if their behavior was the cause.
  • Money, property, prestige.
  • Carrying the torch (or stick, if you will) of someone else shaming or diminishing/devaluing us.
  • For those that can and should, not being self supporting through one’s own contributions mentally, emotionally, physically (food, clothing, shelter…), and “spiritually”.
  • Perfectionism- both imposed on others, and ourselves.  Same is true for managing and controlling everything.
  • Going where the love “should be” in our lives, instead of going where the love is.
  • On a related note- staying in abusive or emotionally unavailable relationships.
  • This one is a little backwards from the context in the opening paragraph: took me a while to realize that I don’t have to do everything I think.
  • Blame.
  • Poor boundaries.  More specifically, not knowing where one person “stops” mentally, emotionally, physically, and/or “spiritually”, and another “starts”.
  • Operating as if our feelings are facts.
  • Euphemistic language.
  • Behaving or thinking as if we have to not be, or stop being afraid, before we can accomplish a task.
  • Same as the above, but instead of stop/not be afraid, that we have to be “motivated”.
  • Being an “island”.  Meaning, not having closeness with other folk, using ourselves as a sole resource for support or perspective or interpretation or encouragement, etc.
  • An inability or unwillingness to be “present”.
  • Can’t emphasize this one enough: not knowing who we are, and how we are.

Am guessing I’ll be adding to this list as time goes on.  The ideas above certainly warrant a deeper look/discussion to both understand and make them practical.  It appears to me that there’s a lot of fairly simple myths that might be dispelled that could help us all reduce chaos, and “increase the signal to noise ratio” in terms of our perspective and thinking.   The ideas above, I think, are a pretty great start at doing that.

Attitude of Platitude

Talking with a client the other day, the subject of platitudes came up.  Many of us use them routinely.  Whether opining about inferences made, used polemically, or giving feedback to a friend or loved one, they’re used fairly often in all different kinds of discourse.  These certainly occur in therapy, twelve step programs (Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Al-Anon, Co-Da, ACA, Overeaters Anonymous, etc).  We hear them at church/synagogue.  They’re used copiously in political speeches and discussions.

Many years ago, a friend began saying to me when discussing platitudes, “Cliche alert!  Cliche alert!” ala the robot from “Lost in Space”.  It was his way of indicating that the user was often either not really saying anything, and/or wasn’t really aware of the content or context of the cliche being used.

One of my favorite quotes is from Gandhi: “It is because we have at this present moment everybody claiming the right of conscience without going through any discipline whatsoever that there is so much untruth being delivered to a bewildered world.”  What I think he was getting at was pretty fundamental, and horror-producing… we all claim a right to truths and perceptions without really going through any real self or “concept” examination, and impose a subsequent template on the world in its wake.

That’s a fantastic way to create and/or perpetuate problems.  Am bringing it up because it seems that platitudes are a common ways this occurs.  Not that many platitudes or cliches aren’t true, just that we often don’t seem to examine if we’re using them, truly understand them, use them in context and the like.  I often see therapists, psychiatrists and other mental health professionals use cliches and platitudes simply because they don’t know what else to say.

Going back to twelve step programs, one cliche that is often used is “attitude of gratitude”.  With equal measure, it seems that an “attitude of platitude” is what is often in use.  Ideas like “just do what you’re doing”, “keep it simple”, “I decide for me, you decide for you, we decide for us”, and more are arguably great ideas.  These ideas even have utility for depression, relationships, self esteem, addiction, grief, loss and more.  However, our command of the language doesn’t necessarily indicate a real handle on what they mean or how/when/what context to use them and make them practical.

You can find out more about Petar at: April30th.org

Recognition for Partners in Recovery

Last Monday (9-26-11), Judy McGehee MFT, Melissa Lamoureux MS, Erika Gayoso MA, Ted Aaselund PsyD, Michael Cardenas, Jeffrey Craig, Jessica Wilson, Elvia Cortes MA and myself were recognized by the board of the Glendora Unified School District at their monthly meeting.  Formally, the agency is called “Partners in Recovery”, a nonprofit organization of clinicians providing services in Glendora and surrounding communities.

Judy, and I have been providing clinical supervision (a necessary component for grads and soon-to-be grads to get their “hours of experience” to sit for licensure as therapists or social workers) for the above mentioned interns and trainees.  Trainees are obtaining hours to graduate with their Masters degrees, interns are working on their hours (3000 hours of service over 104 weeks) to sit for the licensing examination with the Board of Behavioral Sciences.  In turn, the supervisees (the ones above and others from previous years) have provided thousands of hours of free services to the Glendora Unified School district, from elementary thru high school.  The supervisees from Partners have been assisting with issues of depression, abuse, family discord, eating disorders, suicide, addiction, grief and loss, bullying, self esteem, anxiety problems and more.

The program has been running since 2009 with Judy at the helm, and will continue at least through this year.  Judy, Ted, and the interns/trainees are all highly skilled clinicians.  It is a fantastic way for people to get services that might not have otherwise.  Nicely done everybody.

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